Hey you,

Pillow Talk is your 5 minute read on how to enjoy your sex life whilst cultivating a confident, erotic and playful relationship. At the bottom you’ll find:

• 3 things to try

• 2 questions to ponder

• 1 pieces of content to watch

Coaching

A sex life that excites you, feels fucking fantastic and cultivates immense intimacy between you and your partner is only 12 weeks away.

Even if you believe you’ve tried everything before, believe it won’t work for you, believe your relationship is beyond repair, believe you don’t want sex anymore or believe it is too embarrassing to seek out support.

Fortunately, those beliefs are not facts. They are the stories you’re telling yourself because you are afraid of change.

Yet on the other side of change is everything you dream of.

• Like Sarah who believed she didn’t want a relationship but was actually just scared to confront the pain she felt during sex. Now she’s pain free and enjoying dating again!

• Or Louise who felt lost in her relationship and dreaded bedtimes because sex had become a chore. Now she’s carved out her independence, feels happier and healthier than she has in years and is having ‘honeymoon’ sex again.

• Then there’s Sam. After 6 years in her relationship, she believed the only route forward was to separate from her partner. Now, they’re happily engaged and communicating better than ever!

Because I only work with 5 clients at a time, they all achieve their goals. But more importantly, they leave informed and empowered with the tools and knowledge that they need to weather any future challenge that comes their way. 💗

Suffering in silence is a selfish act. It harms you, your partner and your relationship.

Be brave, step forward and ask for help. I’m ready to meet you wherever you’re at.

52% of women dislike their sex life!

Blergh, this is such a depressing statistic.

Mostly, this comes down to three things:

1. A lack of desire for their partners which causes stress in the relationship and a sense of longing for the desire they used to have.

2. A lack of pleasure during sex which impacts desire as there’s no ‘reward’ for doing it.

3. A lack of sexual self-esteem which refers to refers to how individuals perceive and value themselves as sexual beings. It encompasses a range of feelings about one's sexual appeal, capabilities to give and receive pleasure, and comfort with one's sexual desires and behavior. Sexual self-esteem is shaped by internal factors, such as body image and self-confidence, as well as external factors, like feedback from sexual partners and societal standards.

If you selected satisfied, power to you babe! I’m really happy for you 🥹

If you selected (or thought) dissatisfied, you’re part of the majority! However, you don’t have to be. My mission is to shift that number (52%) down, down, down! Eventually, researchers will survey this community and find that less than 0% of women are dissatisfied with their sex lives. 😝

This is a pleasure revolution ladies, and you’re part of it.

Let’s speed this process up so that our daughters, nieces, younger sisters, god daughters and so on aren’t sitting here in 20 years dissatisfied with their sex lives too! How can we do that? Well, today’s Desire Masterclass is a great start.

Desire Masterclass

For the majority of women, the reason for their dissatisfaction is the quantity and quality of their sex life is falling below their expectations.

Once in a long term relationship, women find themselves with a much lower desire than during the honeymoon phase, or even when they were single. This creates a desire mismatch between them and their partner.

This mismatch leads to:

• arguments

• tension

• pressure

• having sex out of a sense of duty instead of desiring that sex

• an orgasm gap (he has more than her)

• pain during sex

• loneliness

• self-doubt

• a loss of one’s sexual self

• feeling ‘dead’ inside

• a devastating lack of intimacy

• doubt about the longevity of the relationship

• resentment

• infidelity

• separation and/or divorce

Writing that list out makes my heart sink because of how common it is for women (and men) to feel this way. I’m especially sad because I know it’s avoidable and solvable but so many couples have given up. They feel like they’ve tried everything, that there’s no way back to each other, that this is just the way it is and they are ready to settle.

I know, because I’ve been there, twice! I’ve had to work my way back to pleasurable and plentiful sex after long periods of sexlessness.

During those periods I convinced myself I wasn’t even into sex anymore, that I didn’t need it in my life and that I could go through the motions to satisfy my partner.

OMG was I wrong. I bloody love sex. Even more, I love intimacy.

I feel sadness for the woman I was when I believed I didn’t need sex or intimacy. Looking back I can see that my lights had gone out, that my life was less full, vibrant, playful and connected.

But I’m also proud of her. She didn’t settle, and instead she fought her way back to an erotic life and a beautiful, intimate relationship.

The Masterclass

Learn the science behind low desire and desire mismatch, then unlock the secrets to maintaining a pleasurable sex life throughout your relationship.

No more stressful bedtimes, fighting over how often you have sex, missed orgasms or sexual sadness.

I’ll share the science that helps us understand our desire, the stories of other women who have successfully implemented the learnings and changed their lives, plus my own story so that you don’t feel so alone in your experience.

This 60 minute masterclass will cover:

• The science of desire (and how everything you’ve been taught is all wrong)

• The power of our minds and how we can changing our thoughts

• How to make sense of you and your partner’s needs so you can better connect.

Below is a snapshot of the feedback we received after running this masterclass last time. Beautiful, powerful words shared by women in this community.

I’ve made the masterclass super accessible - pay what you can. If you can’t join live, submit your questions ahead of the call and watch the recording at a more convenient time.

When / Where

• Tuesday 1st October (today)

• 8pm BST / 12pm PST

• Live on Zoom → recording will go to anyone that signs up even if you can’t join live

• Joining link will be sent to your email after purchase

Reading this newsletter each week is great and I want you to keep reading. But it’s not enough. It won’t change your sex life. You have to poke your toe out of your comfort zone, take one small action and watch the positive impact it has!

3 Things to Try This Week

I’ve gone rogue this week and bringing you not 1 but 3 things to try.

• Schedule an activity that brings you so much joy and journal on why it brings you joy. What about it and what about you do you love after you’ve done it?

• Ask your partner to write down three things they loved about you when you met and do the same for your partner. Get back to what initially attracted you to each other. Are those things still there? If not, why not?

• Get dressed up and take a beautiful photo of yourself.

2 Questions to Ponder

1. If you felt resistance to my suggestions, why?

2. Out of 10, how would you rate your sexual self esteem (read up for definition)

Let me know your answers to these questions by replying to this email. I love hearing from you and I’m so grateful when people write to me.

1 Watch

🎧 Increase your desire - Register for today’s masterclass

I’m lovingly pushing you to create change in your life. I hope you’ll stay with me 😜

xx Billie xx

_{I’m Billie, a certified Holistic Health Coach, Sex Educator and author of a soon to be released sexual wellness manual with Penguin, TedX Speaker, and co-founder of Ferly (where we’ve helped 500,000 folk improve their intimate lives).}

_{I empower women to enjoy their sex lives and cultivate deeply intimate and nourishing relationships.}

_{How I can help you:}

✨ _{1:1 Coaching}

_{We’ll work together to cultivate a sex life you love and a relationship you’re excited by. I work in an evidence based way, drawing on the latest science. Our time together will be empowering, playful and transformative. Ready?}