Hey you,

Pillow Talk is your 5 minute read on how to enjoy your sex life whilst cultivating a confident, secure and pleasurable relationship. At the bottom you’ll find:

• 1 thing to try

• 2 questions to ponder

• 3 pieces of content we’re loving

If you’re looking for some support with your relationship and/or sex life book a free call. ☎️

August spots filled. 4 spaces left for September.

I have a few more spots for September. Channel that back to school energy and use it to level up your sex life. It’s time to receive the sex education you should have had except this time there will be no condoms on bananas or awkward teachers.

Through 8 modules I’ll guide you through the science of sex giving you the confidence to cultivate a life you deeply desire. I’ll help you understand why you struggle to orgasm, experience pain, disassociate and over think, retreat from intimacy and/or feel a lack of desire for your partner.

In 12 weeks you’ll go from a sex life that causes you stress, to a sex life full of pleasure and play. You’ll (re)discover the sexual woman inside of you, exude confidence in and out of the bedroom and explore how to connect emotionally and physically with your partner like the early days of your relationship.

Most women I talk to have beautiful, loving relationships but their sex life is an area causing deep dissatisfaction. And for most of these women, they’ve settled for at best an average, and at worst, a shitty sex life because they believe that’s just the way it is after years in a relationship.

If that sounds like you, I’m here to show you there’s another way. You don’t have to settle. An erotic, pleasurable, playful and emotionally connected relationship is possible for you. Come and chat to me.

Burning Man // Crying Woman

Google Burning Man and you’ll see skimpy outfits, nudity, gorgeous people and unrealistic expectations. #triggering

I’m writing this email on a road trip from LA to Black Rock City, Utah. Why? Because that’s where the infamous art and music festival, Burning Man, is hosted. And I’m about to loose my BM virginity.

It’s a festival I’ve been incredibly curious about for a long time and when a friend invited me this year I decided, fuck it, let’s go!

2 months later, I’m less than 5hrs away from trading the comfort of my home for 9 dusty days in the desert. I’m really excited but I’m also incredibly nervous.

I’ve been prepping for a month now (yes, it really requires that level of prep) and something has really surprised me…the ‘freedom’ in the way people dress AKA the nudity, has triggered me.

I’m really struggling with my body image. It’s been incredibly confronting.

Last week, after a morning spent trying on outfits, I spent the afternoon crying to some girlfriends. One friend was so sweet and came round later that week to help dress me. At first I felt so silly and really exposed (these are relatively new friends) but on reflection, my vulnerability actually bought us closer and created a lovely moment for us to spend some playful one on one time together.

Although, I’m not sure we nailed all the outfits….

Thankfully, some were better than others.

Courage Combats Shame

Real talk, pressing send on this newsletter, with these images attached, is taking a huge amount of courage right now. Please be kind but also, please do have a good laugh because that first outfit is hilarious 😆

I’m inspired by one of my clients who is courageously setting the record straight with her pal about being a 30yr old virgin. Shame lives in the shadows, when we bring our ‘secrets’ into the light and own them, the shame disappears and the connections we build with others is profoundly beautiful.

Hopefully, my small act of courage will inspire one of you this week. If it does, please let me know over email.

Body Image 101

Body image refers to the perception, thoughts, and feelings we have about our own physical appearance. It encompasses:

Perceptual Aspect: How a person sees their body, which may or may not align with reality. For example, someone might perceive themselves as overweight when they’re not.

Cognitive Aspect: The beliefs and thoughts a person has about their body, including ideas about their size, shape and appearance.

Emotional Aspect: The feelings a person has towards their body, which can range from satisfaction to dissatisfaction or even anxiety and shame.

Behavioural Aspect: The actions a person takes based on their body image, such as avoiding certain situations, engaging in excessive exercise, or following specific diets.

Often, body image is referred to as either positive or negative. Positive emphasises loving and celebrating one’s body. Negative highlights thoughts that accompany body dissatisfaction.

However, there is a middle ground: body neutrality.

At Ferly we encourage women who struggle with their body image to focus on body neutrality. This concept emphasises focusing less on appearance and more about what the body can do. It encourages you to appreciate your body for it’s functions and abilities rather than looks. It also encourages being mindful of the body’s needs and practicing self-care in a way that supports overall well-being.

Sexual desire and satisfaction are heavily impacted by body negativity which is something so many of us struggle with, including me. It’s such a thief of joy, so I really prioritise the rituals I have in place to help me stay neutral, and sometimes even positive.

However, even with all the rituals, I still got triggered this week. That’s just a part of life. I’m not going to let it ruin my experience and a beautiful surf last night reminded me how powerful my body is. So here’s to 9 naked days in the desert!

Intimacy Date Night

Last week I asked whether you would attend an intimacy date night hosted by us. The results are in and 55% said ‘amazing, yes’ and 45% said, ‘Yes but I’m nervous’. Only 2 people said no. That’s why I love this community so much.

I’m going to host the first night in September. More details to follow.

It will be beautiful and playful, but very gentle to put you nervous lot at ease. If you’re interested, register below.

1 Thing to Try This Week

Body neutrality takes time to master. It’a an ongoing practice that requires self-compassion. This week, try moving your body or engaging in a sport and journal on what your body did for you.

Did your legs carry you on a run? Did your arms help you glide through the water with ease? Did your fingers carry you up a bouldering wall?

Try to turn your mind away from how your body looks to how your body feels. when you move it.

2 Questions to Ponder

1. How would life be different if you weren’t worried about how you looked?

2. When you partner or a friend compliments the way you look, what’s your first thought?

Let me know your answers to these questions by replying to this email. I love hearing from you and I’m so grateful when people write to me.

3 Read/Watch/Listens

📚 Give Me Strength - Alice overcomes her body hang ups and shows you how she did it in this brilliant and honest book

🎧 Body Scan- This exercise will help you ground into your body

▶️ Olympics redefine body image - Ilona Maher stole my heart at Paris

Wish me luck at the Burn 🔥 and have a beautiful week.

xx Billie xx

_{I’m Billie, a certified Holistic Health Coach, Sex Educator and author of a soon to be released sexual wellness manual with Penguin, TedX Speaker, and co-founder of Ferly (where we’ve helped 500,000 folk improve their intimate lives).}

_{I empower women to enjoy their sex lives and cultivate deeply intimate and nourishing relationships.}

_{How I can help you:}

✨ _{1:1 Coaching}

_{We’ll work together to cultivate a sex life you love and a relationship you’re proud of. I work in an evidence based way, drawing on the latest science. Our time together will be empowering, playful and transformative. Ready?}