Read Time: 4 minutes

App: The Ferly App is your digital sex coach with guided practices, audio erotica and evidence based courses. It’s been downloaded by ~ 1 million women!

Before we dive in, let’s check in…

New readers, new products in the works, and a renewed sense of what we're here to do.

So before we go further, I wanted to take a moment to re-introduce ourselves, and ask you something important.

I'm Billie, founder of Ferly. We've helped over one million women across 70 countries through our app, and I'm the author of Turn Yourself On, published by Penguin Life last May.

I started Ferly because I believed women deserved better — better information, better support, and a place that actually understood their experience of desire and intimacy.

Alongside me is Lexy, Ferly's clinical sexologist. Lexy has directly transformed the sex lives of hundreds of women in this community — and, I'll be honest, mine too. More on that in a moment.

49% of marriages end in divorce — and it's rarely because the love has gone. More often, it's a slow erosion of intimacy. A creeping distance that neither person knows how to close.

And underneath that? 51% of women experience common sexual difficulties — low desire being the most prevalent. Intimacy becomes effortful. Couples start to pull away. And everyone quietly assumes something is wrong with them.

Here's what I want you to know: it isn't.

What you've been taught about desire was built around the male experience. At school, through culture, through the media. The blueprint most of us inherited was never designed for how women actually work. And without the right framework, building a sexually satisfying long-term relationship is genuinely hard.

Desire in women is shaped by three interconnected things: your biology, your psychology, and your social world — your mind, your body, and your life. In the field of human sexuality, this is called the biopsychosocial model. It's the science at the heart of everything we create at Ferly. And it's why the same approach doesn't work for everyone.

None of us were sent to relationship school. Nobody taught us how to communicate our needs, understand our desire, or navigate intimacy with a long-term partner. We were left to figure it out alone — and told that asking for help meant we'd failed.

So it's no wonder so many of us end up feeling confused, a little stuck, and quietly ashamed. Like we're the only one.

You are not the only one. And you are not to blame.

Even with all the knowledge and all the tools, I've been navigating my own period of low desire — coming up on six months now. A combination of burnout, SIBO (gut issues, iykyk), and living away from the people I love left me feeling disconnected from myself and, honestly, from my relationship.

So I did what I'd tell any of you to do: I asked for help. I worked with Lexy. And having a fresh perspective, gentle accountability, and a compassionate voice in my corner made all the difference. I'm out of the spiral — the one where I kept questioning my relationship, its future, and whether I'd ever feel like myself again.

I'm sharing this because sometimes knowledge isn't enough. Sometimes you need a guide.

A Recent Testimonial From Our Nurturing Desire Program

Over to you, we genuinely wan to hear from you and work together to build solutions that feel truly helpful and accessible for you right now. Being stuck in the same loop sucks.

Everything you share stays between Lexy and me. We treasure it.

Have you heard about the social media trend, ‘Touch Grass’? It’s been going around for a few weeks now and the premise is simple - get off your phone and be present.

My challenge to you this week, leave your phone out of the bedroom and give your partner a kiss goodnight in bed…and if that doesn’t feel possible right now, let’s talk because you’re drifting apart but it’s not too late.

With love,
Billie x