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👋 Hey you,

How’s your week been? Any moments of aliveness for you…

Are you starting to see a pattern?

Many of you are still sharing that you’re feeling flat and disconnected. Whilst time of the month can play a big role in how alive and connected to our sensual self we feel, if you’re answering the same each week, maybe there’s something bigger going on.

I’m going to set you a small challenge at the end of this newsletter because I want you to join me on our journey back to feeling alive so we can live a BIG BEAUTIFUL LIFE. Are you up for it?

A Quote That Stopped Me In My Tracks

I’ve been back from my month long sabbatical for almost 2 months now. Quite a lot of time has passed and yet nothing has changed on the outside, but on the inside, I feel like a different woman.

I know it’s a privilege to be able to stop for a month. To leave my laptop closed and place my OOO on. But it was necessary for me. I needed to stop so that I could rise again. Find my power again.

We’re not all the way there yet, burn out has a funny way of gripping very tightly, but I do feel a little more determined and a little less vulnerable.

🗺️ My Exploration This Week

Last week I said you can’t think you’re way to aliveness, you have to feel it.

So once again, I set myself another more embodied challenge…attend a comedy improv class.

For some of you reading, that might sound absolutely horrendous, but for me, improv is my happy place. It’s where I step out of my comfort zone and into my growth zone (but not so far that I enter the zone of chaos).

What is your equivalent?

Let me tell you about my class…

I nearly didn’t go. Yesterday, I was anxious as fuck.

I hauled my butt out for a sunset walk, which inevitably lead me straight to the shops so that I could eat my emotions (yes, that’s a bad habit I’m working on). Once satiated, I popped my headphones in, put on some of my favourite tunes and resumed my stroll.

My calendar reminder flashed up…1hr until improv starts. My first thought, ‘I’ll start next week’. But then I remembered that I owed you a newsletter and this would be a good experiment to report back on. Accountability and community are two very powerful drivers, thank you!

I got home, throw on some clothes and jumped in my car. Classic me, I’m now running 5 mins late and the thought of being the new kid walking into a class full of AmDram adults nearly pushed me into the chaos zone and straight back to the sofa. I took a deep breath and continued driving.

As suspected, I walked in to the most energetic, hyperactive, flamboyant and insanely WONDERFUL room of people in all shapes, ages and sizes. Andddd Exhale. These are my people. Why? Because they are so authentically themselves and so unashamed of taking up space. I’m not that person right now. I’m working towards it. But I love to be around it.

The class began with an opening question that was so American, this English girl nearly shrivelled up and hid under her chair. The question…”When it comes to improv, what are you amazing at? And please, be really braggy!” Eeeek, help.

One by one, the group embraced the question and confidently shared what they are amazing at. Honestly, as uncomfortable as it makes me, I admire this quality in American’s so much. Being your own biggest cheerleader is such a gift, why do us English have such an aversion to it? In that moment, the only thing that came to me was fear, and so that fear became my answer, because despite how I felt, I knew I was going to continue the class and so I answered, “Feeling the fear, and doing it anyway”.

And that brings me back to the point of these micro challenges I’m setting myself. You can’t think you’re way to aliveness, you have to feel it.

And nothing makes you feel quite as alive as being on the edge of fear.

The rest of the class was brilliant and I came home absolutely giddy. That feeling has carried through my whole day today and it gave me an idea…

During my sabbatical I learnt to skateboard and documented the whole thing on Instagram. I got lots of really lovely comments from followers and strangers who found it funny and/or inspiring. One person told me it was their new favourite ‘show’ during their daily commute haha.

So, back to my new idea. If I took on a new monthly challenge, would you be interested in following my journey on Instagram? For example, I might learn a new dance routine or try to conquer a Scottish accent.

My hope is that in sharing my journey, you might feel a little nudge toward stepping outside of your comfort zone and taking on a challenge of your own. However big or small that might be.

Your Weekly Framework to Turn Yourself On

❓One thing to try

Last week I encouraged you to nurture your sexual energy. Now I’d like you to take that energy and light that erotic spark.

How? By stepping one foot outside your comfort zone. It could be as small as wearing an outfit you’ve had your eye on but haven’t felt bold enough to wear, or saying yes to after work drinks with your colleagues and ordering a non alch option instead of drinking. Or as big as signing up to a course, putting yourself forward for a promotion, or having a conversation with your partner about what’s turning you on these days. Whatever it is, it has to be something you want to do but feel a little bit scared of. The goal here is to feel the fear and do it anyway. If you’re nervous, ground yourself and connect to your sexual energy because it’s your life force energy, remember?

Take a few deep breaths, meditate, move your body gently, whatever you need to centre yourself.

🗣️ Two questions to ponder

1. What excites me but also fills me with a little bit of fear?

2. How can I challenge myself this week?

📺 Content recommendation

I recently discovered a Netflix show called, Minx.

It was so good, I binged both seasons. If you can, please watch a few episodes before next week so we can have a great conversation about the theme.

With love,
Billie x

♥️ Personal Support

^{I’m Billie, a certified Holistic Health Coach, Sex Educator and author of the best selling sexual wellness manual, ‘Turn Yourself On’, published by Penguin. I’ve also delivered a TedX on the future of pleasure and co-founded the #1 sexual wellness app, Ferly (where we’ve helped 600,000 women enjoy sex more).}

^{I empower women to enjoy their sex lives, cultivate deeply nourishing relationships and find their power!}

^{I can help you:}

• ^{Turn painful sex into a source of ease and pleasure so your body can finally exhale.}

• ^{Experience orgasm more easily by quieting the noise in your head and reconnecting with your body.}

• ^{Reignite your desire so sex stops feeling like a task and starts feeling like something you genuinely want without the guilt.}

• ^{Rebuild intimacy in your relationship so you feel close again, and separation no longer feels like the only option.}