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👋 Hey you,

Before we dive in, let’s check in…

Was your answer the same or different to last week?

Last week, most of you said you felt flat and disconnected — only a few percent said you felt deeply alive and turned on by life itself.

I’ve been there too. But things are shifting because I’m consciously making a change.

As I mentioned, I’m on my own journey to reclaim and rediscover my erotic spark, and I want you to join me.

You’re not broken. You’re just out of charge.

And while that feeling won’t last forever, it does ask for some small, intentional steps to help your body come back online.

But before we talk about those, I want to share something that stopped me in my tracks this week.

First, a quick note…today’s newsletter is leaning slightly more abstract. I urge you to open your minds and stay curious. If you find yourself triggered by any of these words, lean into it and ask yourself why.

Aliveness is an abstract concept and it can be explored through many lenses: neuroscience, biology, psychology, spirituality and more. Today, I’m keeping it a little more high level and introducing some new concepts. If it resonates, I’ll go deeper.

Sexual Energy Is Life Force Energy

I came across that line again — sexual energy is life force energy — and for the first time, it landed.

I wanted to really understand what it meant. Was it just a poetic way of saying “sex is important”? Or was there something deeper?

Here’s what I’ve come to see.

💫 Sexual Energy: the Current

Sexual energy is the raw life force that moves through you — physical, emotional, creative.

It’s the underlying vitality that fuels everything from desire and curiosity to motivation and expression.

It’s like electricity in a house — invisible, but powering everything that lights you up.

When your sexual energy is flowing, you feel alive, open, and connected to life.
When it’s blocked, you feel flat, numb, or cut off.

And you can feel it, even in small ways —
when you laugh from your belly,
when an idea excites you,
when you move your body just for the pleasure of it,
when you let yourself rest and feel your shoulders drop.

That’s sexual energy.
That’s your life force moving.

I was chatting to a client recently who said she wanted to feel more freedom like this woman she knows. She began describing her: this woman walked in to rooms with a quiet confidence, she moved and spoke without inhibition, her clothes were feminine and flirtatious without being overtly sexual, her energy was playful and light, and when she held a conversation with her, she felt truly seen.

She was describing a woman who’s sexual energy is flowing freely.

You can cultivate it through rest, breath, movement, pleasure, and connection — the simple things that keep your nervous system open and charged.

🔥 Erotic Spark: the Expression

Your erotic spark is what happens when that energy finds direction — when it becomes personal, felt, alive in you.

If sexual energy is the current, your erotic spark is the flame — the part that glows when you’re turned on by life, by your body, by possibility.

It’s how that energy expresses itself through your desires, your playfulness, your creativity, your curiosity.

For one person, it’s laughter and mischief.
For another, it’s depth and surrender.
For another, it’s adventure, risk, or creative flow.

It’s not just about sex — it’s the unique way you come alive.

✨ In short

• Sexual energy is the source — your aliveness.

• Erotic spark is the expression — how that aliveness shows up in you.

Or another way of saying this:

• Sexual energy is like charging your phone — getting your system plugged back in.

• Erotic spark is opening your favorite app and actually using that charge for something that excites you.

When you’re disconnected from your sexual energy, the spark has nothing to burn on.
When you nurture that energy — through rest, pleasure, movement, and emotional honesty — your erotic spark naturally reignites.

It’s the difference between having fuel in the tank (sexual energy) and feeling the engine roar to life (erotic spark).

🪶 Why this matters

If you’ve been feeling flat, maybe the question isn’t “What’s wrong with me?” but “Where have I stopped letting life move through me?”

You don’t have to force anything. You just have to make space for the current to flow again.

Start small: breathe deeper, move slower, notice what feels good.
That’s not indulgence — it’s how you come back to life.

🗺️ My Exploration This Week

With this distinction in mind, I set myself the task of nurturing my sexual energy and directing my erotic spark.

Nurturing my Sexual Energy

For me, that meant morning meditation at my favourite studio, Open.
Why? Because I know meditation works for me.

In 2023, I spent five days at a silent meditation retreat. Before that, I wasn’t much of a meditator — I’d dabbled with the Calm app but never formed a habit.

On a bit of a whim, I booked the retreat. The first few days were awful. I hated every second of it, and my journal looked like the mad scribblings of a tortured woman (haha).

But by day three, everything changed. I found myself truly present in every moment. I noticed the beauty of my surroundings in a way I’d completely overlooked before. I began to feel this deep inner peace and, at times during focused meditation, I entered what I can only describe as an altered state. It was magical.

The day I left, my friends looked at me differently — like they were seeing me for the first time. I remember one friend holding my hands, looking deep into my eyes and saying, “Billie, you are radiant.”

Now I understand that to be my sexual energy flowing freely.

Bringing it back to the present day… over the last year I’ve let my meditation practice slip. I’ve been travelling a lot and out of routine, so there’s a reason for it — but I’m home now, and I have a consistent rhythm again.

No more excuses. It’s time to recommit to my practice and nurture my sexual energy once more.

Directing My Erotic Spark

I didn’t stop there.

With the work I’ve been doing over the last month, I can already feel my sexual energy flowing again. Right now, it feels like a gentle stream rather than a gushing waterfall, so I know there’s still more nurturing to do — but I’m beginning to feel my erotic spark, and I want to lean into it.

Last week, it expressed itself creatively through this newsletter. (Until then, I hadn’t written anything for five months.)

This week, it expressed itself through a desire to dance.

My beautiful friend Sarah leads a sensual dance class. She’s phenomenal — I’ve watched her with admiration for years. But if I’m honest, there’s also been a hint of jealousy. I’ve wanted to dance like her. When she moves, she’s free and powerful, fully embracing her sexuality. She’s unapologetic and bold — a woman in her power.

Instead of watching, this week I decided to channel my energy, follow the spark, and join her dance class.

I was so nervous.

And that feeling didn’t go away. Throughout the class I felt awkward and clumsy. My body hurt and my mind was loud with self-criticism. But I kept dancing.

By the end of the class, I felt so alive and connected to myself.

What I Learnt

You can’t think yourself to feeling alive.

Aliveness is an embodied experience. In order to get there I have to regulate my nervous system, move my body playfully, rest in a nourishing way (no screens) and connect with people that fill up my cup.

Then, when I feel the energy flow, I must listen to my desires and allow them to be expressed without imposing judgement or criticism upon them.

And that is the energy I’m taking forward into this week.

Step by small step, until aliveness isn’t a fleeting feeling, but a way of being.

Your Weekly Framework to Turn Yourself On

❓One thing to try

Last week I asked you to make a list of what brings you energy and what takes your energy. This week I want you to build on that list and highlight the activities that replenish your sexual energy and those that feed your erotic spark.

If you feel like you’re lacking anything that truly nourishes your sexual energy, pick something from this list and find time to add it in: meditation, a mindful walk, a slow yoga flow, listen to a beautiful piece of music that moves you, no screens for one evening, self-massage in the shower, bath or with body oil.

Slow down, feel more, and create space for pleasure and connection.

🗣️ Two questions to ponder

1. How did the term ‘sexual energy’ make you feel and why?

2. What do you need to nourish your sexual energy?

With love,
Billie x

♥️ Personal Support

^{I’m Billie, a certified Holistic Health Coach, Sex Educator and author of the best selling sexual wellness manual, ‘Turn Yourself On’, published by Penguin. I’ve also delivered a TedX on the future of pleasure and co-founded the #1 sexual wellness app, Ferly (where we’ve helped 600,000 women enjoy sex more).}

^{I empower women to enjoy their sex lives, cultivate deeply nourishing relationships and find their power!}

^{I can help you:}

• ^{Turn painful sex into a source of ease and pleasure so your body can finally exhale.}

• ^{Experience orgasm more easily by quieting the noise in your head and reconnecting with your body.}

• ^{Reignite your desire so sex stops feeling like a task and starts feeling like something you genuinely want without the guilt.}

• ^{Rebuild intimacy in your relationship so you feel close again, and separation no longer feels like the only option.}