"The Real Secret to Confidence, Creativity, and Joy? Your Body."

Buy this book and feel deeply connected to yourself and your power.

Read Time: 5 minutes

👋 Hi my loves,

Welcome to Pillow Talk, your weekly dose of inspiration, guidance, and actionable tools to help you reclaim your desire, rebuild sexual confidence, and deepen intimacy—starting with the relationship you have with yourself.

You deserve a vibrant, pleasurable, and deeply fulfilling sex life. Let’s help you claim it.

👋 Hey you,

It’s my birthday today! I celebrated it at 12.05am this morning as I landed in Barcelona for a wedding. I’m feeling very reflective, as one often does on their birthday’s. However, rather than looking back, I want to look forward today.

In 3 weeks, our debut book, Turn Yourself On: Get Confident, Discover Pleasure and Find Your Power will be published.

Find value in this newsletter? Treat me for my birthday and pre-order here.

I’ve had a bunch of people send me screenshots of their order confirmation and my heart is SWELLING. I believe in the transformational power of this book so much.

And, as I mentioned last week, if you buy a copy before the 22nd May, I’ll gift you an entire year free to the Ferly (the app that’s been used by 600K women) and entry into a raffle to win 1 of 10 spots for our exclusive launch event (inc a plus one).

Inside the app you’ll find:

• a library of beautiful female focused audio erotica

• multiple courses that help you unlock better sex

• solo and partnered guided practices to reconnect you to your pleasure

• and so much more

This Week’s Read…

Today, I want to go back to basics and talk about something important: Sexual Wellbeing.

Every week I speak to women about their sex life. So often, I hear the same thing…

“I’m here because my partner wants more sex but I’m not really that into sex anymore, I could take it or leave it”.

And this breaks my heart.

Not because you need to have the same level of desire as your partner but because when you give up on sexual pleasure, you give up on a fundamental part of being human (if you are asexual, read on).

Sexual wellbeing is about so much more than great sex.

It's about reconnecting to your body, reclaiming your pleasure, and recognising it as a vital, life-enhancing part of being human.

The Hulu series Dying For Sex captures this beautifully. It tells the story of Molly—who, after a terminal diagnosis— chooses to go on a journey of sexual exploration and self-discovery.

It's moving, hilarious, and deeply human.

What struck me most was this: our sexual selves are not frivolous or shameful. They are sacred. They shape how we feel about ourselves, our identity, our vitality, and our joy.

Michelle Williams said it best in Vogue: "Sex is a birthright, our bodies are designed for pleasure."

And yet… so few of us are taught how to access that birthright. We’re left fumbling in the dark, wondering what’s wrong with us.

Here’s the truth: Great sex isn’t something you’re born knowing how to do. It’s a skill. One you can learn. Practice. Master.

Now, you might be thinking: “But I’m not even that into sex. I rarely feel turned on.”

I hear that. And it’s valid.

Also, if you identify as asexual or simply don’t feel drawn to sex, know this: pleasure and vitality aren’t only accessed through sexual attraction or activity. That life force—that deep sense of connection, creativity, and aliveness—can flow through self-expression, nature, movement, art, or stillness. Desire doesn’t have to be sexual to be powerful. The key is tuning into what brings you pleasure, presence, and energy.

But here’s something to consider: Sexual pleasure isn’t just about having sex with someone else. It’s about cultivating a deep, intimate connection with yourself.

When you learn how to desire yourself, you unlock an incredible life force.

Self-desire is creative. Empowering. Regulating. Rebellious. It boosts confidence. It relieves stress. It puts you back in touch with your own aliveness.

To neglect your sexual wellbeing is to disconnect from a powerful part of yourself.

That’s why Anna and I wrote Turn Yourself On— we distilled everything we’ve learned about sexual empowerment into 8 clear, practical pillars that transform not just your sex life, but your life-life too:

1. Assert Your Agency

• Express your desires. Set boundaries. Make empowered choices.

• Boost your confidence in and out of the bedroom.

2. Balance Your Power

• Shift from power struggles to mutual respect.

• Create trust and intimacy in your relationships.

3. Build Your Self-Confidence

• Strengthen your self-esteem and sense of worth.

• Show up more fully—in sex, love, work, and life.

4. Cultivate Your Intimacy

• Understand your attachment style and what you need to feel close.

• Create deeper, more secure connections.

5. Embrace Your Desire

• Learn what actually turns you on (it’s probably not what you think).

• Let go of the myths that keep you stuck.

6. Honour Your Health

• See sexual wellbeing as a key part of physical and mental health.

• Prioritise rest, regulation, and your nervous system.

7. Prioritise Your Pleasure

• Let go of shame. Let yourself feel good.

• Rewire your brain for joy and aliveness.

8. Improve Your Communication

• Talk about sex clearly, kindly, and confidently.

• Build intimacy through honesty and shared vulnerability.

These pillars aren’t just about having better sex. They’re about having a better relationship with yourself. And from there—everything else gets better too.

Your Weekly Framework to Turn Yourself On

❓One thing to try

Take five minutes today to do a slow, sensual body scan. Not to check for tension or to "fix" anything—but to feel. Start at the top of your head and move down through your face, neck, shoulders, chest, belly, and so on. Ask yourself: Where do I feel warmth? Tingles? Curiosity? Linger wherever there's even the smallest spark of sensation—and breathe into it. This is how you start waking up your body's pleasure pathways.

🗣️ Two questions to ponder

1. What would shift in your life if you stopped seeing sexual pleasure as optional—and started treating it as essential?

2. Which of the 8 pillars feels most missing—or most alive—in your life right now?

📚 Three pieces of content to consume

Podcast
The original story that inspired Dying For Sex on Hulu.
→ Listen here

Read
Turn Yourself On: Feel Confident, Discover Pleasure and Find Your Power.
→ Read it Here

Watch
Couples Therapy on Amazon Prime - if you’re feeling nosey ;)
→ Watch Now

With love,
Billie x

Personal Support

^{I’m Billie, a certified Holistic Health Coach, Sex Educator and author of the sexual wellness manual, ‘Turn Yourself On’, published by Penguin. I’ve also delivered a TedX on the future of pleasure and co-founded the #1 sexual wellness app, Ferly (where we’ve helped 600,000 enjoy sex more).}

^{I empower women to enjoy their sex lives, cultivate deeply nourishing relationships and find their power!}

^{I can help you:}

• ^{Turn painful sex into a source of ease and pleasure so your body can finally exhale.}

• ^{Experience orgasm more easily by quieting the noise in your head and reconnecting with your body.}

• ^{Reignite your desire so sex stops feeling like a task and starts feeling like something you genuinely want without the guilt.}

• ^{Rebuild intimacy in your relationship so you feel close again, and separation no longer feels like the only option.}